


These Bonds We Grow

by LessAttitudeMoreAltitude



Series: Bonds [2]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst, Deleted Scenes, Season 2, So much angst, Star Wars Rebels Minibang, space parents with their space son
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 05:53:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16299374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LessAttitudeMoreAltitude/pseuds/LessAttitudeMoreAltitude
Summary: Deleted Scenes from Season 2 - Ezra's bonds with his space parents grow.





	These Bonds We Grow

**Author's Note:**

> My contribution for the Star Wars Rebels Minibang! Special thanks to inconocible for beta-ing, and to Night Fell for the beautiful art you can see here: http://nightfellart.tumblr.com/post/179077695464/my-contribution-to-the-swrebelsminibang-event-for

**Relics of the Old Republic**

When Kanan realized who Ahsoka’s old friends were - when he realized why they seemed so familiar to him - a deeply embedded instinct started screaming at him to act. It wasn’t enough to ignite his lightsaber and put his padawan behind him. It wasn’t enough that Ezra seemed to trust them. Even as they tried to make their escape, it wasn’t enough when the clones stayed behind to keep the Imperials occupied. Kanan acknowledged that they didn’t deserve to die. Not like that. He recognized that these clones were not the same ones who had hunted him down for over a year.

But now, a full day later, he still couldn’t relax. Not fully. Not with a clone a mere ship away from his. In a strange sort of way, he felt like he was still being hunted. He had to keep one eye open. It kept him from sleep, and it had him pacing back and forth between the Ghost’s airlock and Ezra’s room. Even though the airlock was always secure, even though there was no sign of any other people, even though he could sense Ezra sleeping safe and sound in his room… Kanan couldn’t relax. Couldn’t let his guard down. Because letting your guard down only led to death.

These weren’t conscious thoughts on Kanan’s part. They were simply instinct. Not the Force telling him he was in danger, but an old wound deep in his brain. The same one that had been ripped open by the sight of the clones.

Honestly, nothing about what he was doing felt aberrant until Ezra’s door hissed open to reveal a very sleepy looking padawan. “Kanan?” he murmured, rubbing his eyes.

Kanan blinked a couple times. “What are you doing up? Do you need the refresher?”

Ezra frowned slightly, shaking his head. “No…” He looked Kanan up and down, taking in the fact that he was still fully clothed. He even still had his pauldron on, his lightsaber pieces on his belt. Ezra stepped out, letting the door close behind him. “What are _you_ doing up?”

“I’m patrolling the ship.”

Ezra raised an eyebrow. “Patrolling… the ship?”

“Yes. I’m still not… comfortable with all these strangers around.”

Ezra gazed intently at Kanan. Then he grabbed Kanan’s hand and pulled him toward the nose gun: Ezra’s go-to place for when he was upset or insecure. “Ezra… what are you doing?”

“Look, I know I’m not an expert on these sorts of things, but I know what it’s like to feel trapped.” Ezra all but shoved Kanan into the gunner seat before he leaned back against the control panel. “I felt it a lot when I first came aboard.”

Kanan glanced at Ezra with a slight frown. He didn’t know that. “You felt trapped?”

“Well, not _‘trapped’_ trapped. Like, I didn’t feel trapped on the ship. Not exactly. It was just…” Ezra crossed his arms, clearly struggling to find the right words. “I didn’t know you guys,” he said quietly. “And while I appreciated the food and place to sleep, it was still hard.” He gave a small smile. “You know I struggled to open up.”

Kanan smiled back. “You’ve come a long way.”

“Because of you guys,” Ezra added adamantly. He tapped his fingers on his arms, letting out a small sigh. “... It’s because of Rex, isn’t it?”

Kanan stiffened. “What?”

“He’s the reason you’re so…” Ezra waved a hand over Kanan’s body. “You know. Patrolling the ship in the middle of the night for no good reason.”

Kanan shook his head with a chuckle. The kid was really perceptive sometimes. “Yeah…” he said quietly.

“I always feel better, sitting here, gazing out at the stars.” Ezra looked out the viewport. “I thought, I don’t know, you might too.”

Kanan sighed, leaning back in his seat. He did feel a little better. He wasn’t certain if it was from the stargazing or just having his padawan right here by his side. If Ezra was here, that meant he was safe.

“Do you ever get tired of it?” Ezra asked.

“The stars?”

Ezra nodded, and Kanan shrugged. “It’s hard to say. I don’t think Hera ever will. Flying up among the stars is all she ever really dreams of. As for me, I’ve travelled around so much, seen so many different systems and configurations of the sky… It’s easy for me to forget they’re even there sometimes.”

“Oh.” Ezra frowned slightly, looking out at the multitude of constellations decorating the viewport.

Kanan looked back out, trying to see what Ezra saw. When did he lose that same wonder he could see in Ezra’s eyes? It was undoubtedly beautiful. He had been to dozens of star systems, yet he had barely scratched the surface of the galaxy. How many more systems would he visit before the end of his life? He hoped it was many dozens more at least. And hopefully, he’d be doing it with his family, Empire or not.

Ezra was looking despondent, his gaze downward instead of at the stars. Kanan put a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t take my cynicism to heart, Ezra. And thank you. I do feel better now.”

Ezra smiled widely. “Really?”

“Really, kiddo.” Kanan gave his shoulder a squeeze. “I needed some perspective, and you gave it to me.”

Relief and a bit of pride swelled in Ezra’s Force signature, making Kanan smile. Everything was going to be okay. Seeing the wonderful young man Ezra was becoming, knowing Hera and the others were safe… As long as they had each other, everything was going to be okay.

* * *

**Protectors of Concord Dawn**

Ezra didn’t know what made him more angry: the fact that Kanan went back to Concord Dawn by himself, or the fact that Sabine managed to sneak on board with him. Why hadn’t _he_ thought to do that?!

He was pacing the halls of the medbay. He hated doing nothing. He hated being useless. Zeb had gone back to the Ghost, grumbling something about his bo-rifle. But the thought of leaving Hera here, alone, in a place that _wasn’t_ the Ghost… Ezra didn’t like it. So he stayed here, pacing in front of her room while he waited. For what, Ezra wasn’t sure. Word from Kanan and Sabine. News about Hera’s condition. Something. Anything.

The medical droid passed by, pausing when it noticed Ezra. “Is there something I can help you with?”

Ezra shook his head, glancing at Hera’s door. “No, I’m fine.”

The droid noticed Ezra’s glance. “You may go in and sit by the patient, if you wish.”

Ezra stiffened, his shoulders raising up. “I don’t want to bother her…” Ezra said quietly.

“The patient is resting. As long as you do not wake her, there is no harm.”

The droid rolled away, and Ezra took a deep breath before walking over and opening the door. Just like before, Ezra’s stomach lurched at the sight of Hera’s beaten up body. It was so wrong. Hera was always fiery and filled with passion and life. To see her not just unconscious but covered in bruises and bandages… Ezra hated it. And it reminded him too much of when Kanan was laying in a similar bed.

Ezra walked in, letting the door close behind him. He grabbed the nearby chair and pulled it up next to Hera, grabbing her limp hand. “She’s going to be okay…” Ezra whispered to himself. He couldn’t get Sabine’s horrified scream out of his head. Or the expression of pure panic on Kanan’s face upon seeing her ship ripped to shreds.

Ezra leaned his forehead down to rest next to Hera’s arm. Her body heat calmed him, although she smelled wrong. She usually had the smell of grease and oil on mixed with her natural scent. Now all Ezra could smell was bacta and antiseptic. He hated it.

He hated all of this.

Ezra huffed, wondering how Kanan’s mission was going. What Kanan and Sabine were doing right now? Did they successfully destroy their ships? Did they make those Mandalorian scum pay for what they did?

He took a deep breath, trying to keep his anger under control. At least being next to Hera’s breathing and living body made him feel a little better.

Hera suddenly moaned, her arm shifting.

Ezra’s head snapped up, his eyes widening. “H-Hera?”

Her head listed to the side towards Ezra’s voice. She grimaced slightly before her eyes lethargically blinked open. “-zra…?” she mumbled.

“Hera! H-How you feeling? Do you need some sort of, I don’t know, drugs? Painkillers? I-I should get the medical droid…!”

Hera’s hand tightened around Ezra’s hand before he could get up. It wasn’t a strong grip, but it was enough to stop Ezra in his rambles. “I’m fine,” she croaked. Her eyes wandered around the room. “Sabine?” she asked.

“She’s fine,” Ezra said. “S-She went with Kanan back to Concord Dawn…”

Hera frowned slightly. “To do what?”

“Blowing up their ships…” Ezra muttered.

She sighed, closing her eyes. “Sounds about right,” she said quietly.

“Are you okay?!” Ezra leaned forward worriedly.

Hera gave a small smile, squeezing his hand again. “I’m good.” She opened her eyes. “Really, Ezra.”

He ducked his head, his cheeks burning in embarrassment at his overreaction. “Sorry…” he muttered.

She gave a soft chuckle. “It’s fine.” She placed a hand on his head. “Have you been here the whole time?”

“No… not that long.” No, he was too busy thinking about getting revenge. About the fact that he hadn’t snuck onto the Phantom before Kanan left.

Hera’s hand was still on Ezra’s head, surprisingly warm and comfortingly. “What did the med droid say?” she asked quietly.

“Y-You’re good. He says you’ll be fine as long as you rest.”

Hera nodded, leaning back with a sigh with her eyes closed. “That sounds good to me…”

Ezra nodded slowly, uncertain what to do now. He tucked his hands between his legs, fidgeting in his seat. Should he leave? He didn’t want to. He wanted to stay, keep on eye on Hera as she rested. What if she wanted something, like water or the med droid?

“Hey…”

He looked up to see Hera looking softly at him, her arm outstretched slightly. “Hera?”

She placed her hand on his shoulder. “You’re trembling, Ezra. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Ezra nodded again. Hera was okay. She might still looked bruised up, cut up, broken, but she was okay. Kanan and Sabine were supposedly destroying the Concord fleet but who knows how that was going. Kanan never thought completely straight when Hera was involved. He could feel Kanan on the other side of their bond but it was more blocked than usual. What if Ezra couldn’t tell if something had gone wrong? What if…?

“Ezra…!” Hera breathed, although the tone was urgent. She gripped his shoulder tightly, pulling him closer. “Everything is alright now. I promise.”

To his surprise, Hera pulled him into a brief hug. “Y-You’re still hurt…” Ezra protested.

“I’ll be fine. The med droid said. Remember?” Hera gave a soft laugh. “We just have to hope Kanan and Sabine don’t do anything too rash.”

Ezra smiled as well, relaxing into Hera’s side. “They probably will.”

Hera sighed. “Yes… they probably will.”

The both of them managed to get some rest, a moment of real peace, as they waited to hear news from Kanan and Sabine.

* * *

**Future of the Force**

Ahsoka had taken Pipey and his mother in on her ship, assuring them she could take them to a place safe from the Empire. After she gave Hera a second set of coordinates, the Ghost set off to get Alora and her grandmother to a separate haven.

To give her grandmother some much needed rest, Ezra was currently holding and rocking Alora in the Common Room. She was… different from Pipey. Besides the obvious physical differences, her Force signature was quieter and yet sharper than Pipey’s. She wasn’t as resistant to Ezra calming her through the Force, easily falling asleep in his arms. She was so warm and bright, Ezra wanted to wrap himself up in her signature. In that way, she and Pipey were the same. So… pure. Like nothing else Ezra had ever felt.

Kanan was sitting near him, smiling softly. “You definitely have a knack for this.”

Ezra shrugged. “Before today, it hadn’t occurred to me that my talent for connection would extend to people, too,” he said quietly.

His master raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah…” Ezra frowned. “Why are you so surprised?”

Kanan chuckled. “With all the strangers you’ve befriended… you realize that’s not normal, right?”

Ezra held Alora closer. “I guess. But you know I wasn’t always like that.”

Kanan’s expression softened, remembering the block Ezra had before their fateful encounter at that old Clone War base. “But you have always been a good kid.”

Ezra cringed, turning away from Kanan. He forgot how little Kanan knew of his life before they met. “I really haven’t, Kanan.”

Kanan demeanor subtly shifted, his expression unreadable. He slid across the bench to sit closer to Ezra, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Whatever you had to do on the streets… It doesn’t make you a bad person.”

“I know that,” Ezra said defensively. His body automatically relaxed against Kanan’s side. “I was just trying to survive.”

“And you did. You survived, Ezra. Survived long enough to become a promising young Jedi, to save lives, help the needy…”

“Yeah, but I only became those things because of _you_ guys.” He didn’t know why he felt the need to argue the point. It just felt important. Like Kanan was missing something. He gazed down at Alora’s sleeping face unseeingly, taking comfort in her signature. “If not for you, I’d still be a selfish streetrat. Or dead. Or taken by…” _the Inquisitors_. It wasn’t a thought Ezra wanted to finish aloud.

A drop of water landed on Alora’s blanket, and Ezra gave a small gasp as he realized he was crying. “Kriff…” he muttered, trying to wipe his face clean.

“Language…” Kanan admonished half-heartedly.

Ezra took a deep breath, tipping his head back against Kanan’s arm and widening his eyes in an attempt to stop the warm flow of tears. “W-Will Alora be okay?” he asked quietly.

“She will,” Kanan assured. “She has her grandmother, and we’re taking them to a safe place.”

Ezra gave a slight nod, his eyes prickling hotter. “That’s good,” he whispered. “H-Having someone is good.”

A strange pressure was bubbling up his throat. It wasn’t until it erupted from his mouth that he realized to his horror that it was a sob. It was quickly followed by another before Ezra pressed his lips together. Although that did nothing to calm his shaking shoulders.

By the time the third sob came out, Kanan had wrapped both arms around Ezra, pulling both him and Alora to his chest. He had a hand on the side of Ezra’s head, holding him tightly. “Just let it out,” Kanan whispered, his breath warming Ezra’s hair.

Like a switch had been flipped, he did just that, muffling his sobs against Kanan’s chest. Alora was settled snugly between them, thankfully unaffected by Ezra’s outburst.

Ezra bit his lip painfully, frustrated with himself. This was so stupid. He was too kriffing old to be crying like this. After nearly eight years on the streets, he had never cried as much as he has in this last year on the Ghost. And everything was fine now! He had no reason to be upset. Alora was fine, Pipey was fine, _he_ was fine…

“Shh, stop that,” Kanan said, squeezing him. In the Force, Ezra could feel the heated blanket that was Kanan’s signature surrounding them. Like always, it made him feel safe, like everything was going to be alright.

And for some reason that only made Ezra cry harder.

“Shh…” Kanan ran his fingers through Ezra’s hair. “It’s alright. Just let it out…”

It felt like an eternity before his sobs finally quieted down. His breathing shuddered as he leaned heavily against Kanan, his master still hugging him tightly. “Sorry…” he breathed, feeling foolish.

“Don’t, Ezra.” Kanan gave a soft sigh. “I guess sometimes it slips my mind. All those years you lived on the street… you really had no one.”

Ezra cringed internally. He didn’t want to think about those years. Even if they comprised the bulk of his waking memories. Even if he still had nightmares that he was still living in that tower: hungry, cold, usually hurt, and always alone. Even if he sometimes still feared that he was going wake up and all of this was just a bizarre dream…

“You’re not there anymore,” Kanan reassured. “You’re safe here on the Ghost, surrounded by people who care about you.”

Ezra nodded. “I know, Kanan.” Despite himself, he leaned more heavily against his master.

Kanan held him tighter. “You should get some rest. I can look after Alora.”

Ezra shook his head. “I’m okay,” he muttered.

Kanan sighed, adjusted his body slightly and leaning back against the bench. “Alright.”

His body relaxing and feeling spent from his unexpected bout of crying, Ezra let his eyes drift close. With Kanan wrapped around him tightly, huddled in his master’s body and Force signature warmth, Alora nestled safely in between them… this is exactly where Ezra wanted to be.

* * *

**Legacy**

Kanan saw a lot of himself in Ezra. Well, more accurately, Kanan saw a lot of _Caleb_ in Ezra. The unending curiosity, the eagerness to learn anything and everything about the Jedi and the Force, the enthusiasm to fight against a perceived greater evil, revelling in the exhilaration of battle…

It terrified Kanan. Caleb had been a naive child, too young for the war he had been thrown in to. And when Caleb lost everything, it nearly broke him.

He let out a tired sigh, gazing out at the swirl of hyperspace through the Phantom’s viewport. Fueled with an vision of his parents, Ezra was on the warpath to find both them and the answers he so desperately craved. Kanan wasn’t about to stop him, but a part of him knew that no matter what they found at the end of this path, it was going to bring up a host of complicated - possibly painful - questions.

He hoped the Bridgers were alive. He really did. However, a small and annoyingly insistent part of him was dreading it. If Ezra’s parents were alive, then Ezra would obviously want to stay with them. Kanan couldn’t help but wonder if they would join the Rebellion or go into hiding. But if they went into hiding… That would mean Ezra would leave the Ghost. Probably for good. Ezra won’t want to stop his Jedi training, but Kanan wasn’t going to make Ezra choose between his parents and being a Jedi. He should be with his family.

Glancing back, he saw Ezra sitting up in one of the seats, his head bobbing low. He seemed to have dozed off.

One way or another, this was going to be a long and difficult day. Kanan got up and walked over to kneel in front of him. He reached up and brushed some of Ezra’s bangs back.

_“Caleb?” There was a warm callused hand on his cheek. “Wake up, young one.”_

_Caleb’s eyes blinked open to his master’s smiling face. “M-Master…?” he mumbled._

_Her hand drifted down to his chest where one of the blaster bolts was still healing. The bacta tank had taken care of most of it, but it was still a little tender. “We’re almost to Mygeeto. How are you feeling?”_

_“I-I’m good!” He sat up, straightening his back._

_“Don’t push yourself unnecessarily, Padawan. We still have twenty minutes before we land. Take all the time you need.”_

_“I’m fine,” Caleb insisted. “Stance and I were sparing just yesterday.”_

_Depa sighed. “You were supposed to be resting.”_

_“I_ **_did_ ** _rest. Until I got bored.” Caleb got up and went to the closest viewport. “What’s Mygeeto like?”_

_“Cold,” she replied simply. “There are some beautiful crystalline structures there, though I don’t know if we’ll have the time to see any. In the past, we used to mine Kyber crystals from Mygeeto.”_

_Caleb brightened. “Really?”_

_“Yes… although the deposits ran dry many centuries ago.”_

_He nodded, gazing at the blue and white spheroid. “And what’s our mission?”_

_Depa shook her head with a smile, but went on to answer his seemingly never-ending questions._

Ezra gave a small moan. “K-Kanan?”

“We’re almost to Lothal,” Kanan said softly before walking back over to the pilot seat.

Ezra’s eyes widened, getting up to stand behind him, gripping the seat tightly. A moment later, the hyperdrive powered down and Lothal came into view.

“You have to admit: It’s good to see no Star Destroyers over Lothal for a change.” Kanan looked up at Ezra, frowning slightly when he saw him staring pensively down at the dashboard instead of out at his home planet. “Why so quiet?”

“Thank you…” Ezra said, his eyes still downward, “... for everything you’ve done for me. You’re always there when I need you most.”

“Hey,” Kanan replied softly. “I know what’s like to lose someone close and not have anyone. When I lost my master, I was alone. Regardless of how this turns out, I didn’t want you to be.”

Ezra took a deep breath, and Kanan focused on landing.

\---

Ezra gazed at Ryder, the hope draining out of his face. “They’re dead… aren’t they.”

Ryder shook his head sadly. “I’m sorry, son. They are.”

A half-sigh, half-sob escaped Ezra, making Kanan’s chest constrict painfully. He knew this had been a possibility, but he didn’t think Ezra was expecting it. Not really.

“Please tell me what happened,” Ezra asked, his voice wavering despite his attempt to keep it even.

Ryder sighed. “You know… even in prison, your parents would stand up for those who couldn't. Especially after they heard your message.”

Ezra gasped, and Kanan could feel the wave of grief and guilt rise up in him.

“Yes… That message. That message of rebellion you beamed out somehow made its way into the deepest dark of Imperial prisons. They were inspired by it, Ezra. They rallied others to rise up and break out. Dozens of us, rebels, sympathizers are free, thanks to them.”

Ezra deflated. “But they didn’t make it.”

“They got separated in the escape. It was just like them not to leave until everyone else got out first. But by then, it was too late.”

“How?” Ezra asked, his voice straining. “H-How did they know it was _me_?”

“On the transmission? Your voice. Your words, son, telling Lothal to stand up. They knew right away.”

Ezra’s breathing was starting to shudder. “You know, they used to say it all the time, when I was little…” He tried to wipe his tears away, his voice breaking. “... if we don’t stand up, who will?”

Kanan put a hand on his shoulder, and Ezra immediately turned to press up against his chest. Kanan wrapped his arms tightly around his padawan as the boy dissolved into bitter sobs. He was drowning in his grief. Kanan could almost taste it: hot, sticky, and bitter in the Force. Kanan didn’t say anything. Gave no meaningless reassurances...

_Caleb couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t see. Something hot and wet was trailing down his face as he ran. His Master’s last words, her last order, was echoing painfully in his skull._

_The dirt turned hard and packed. Then it turned into duracrete. The white noise roaring in his ears got louder, the dark blur of the trees turning bright and colorful._

_No. Too visible. White blurs. Right there_ **_right there_ ** _…_

_Caleb pawed the walls of a building, stumbling into a dark alleyway. Dark. Safe. His body hit the side of a metal dumpster, and he slid the ground, curling up tightly in his robes. He still couldn’t breathe…_

Ezra’s breathing was choked and stuttered as he sobbed painfully hard. His fists were twisted in Kanan’s sweater, holding on to him like he was his final lifeline.

“You’re not alone…” Kanan whispered.

_Caleb had his hands pressed tightly over his mouth, knowing that otherwise, he would be screaming. His body was shaking uncontrollably as he sobbed into his hands, hot tears streaming down his face. His head was throbbing, the fledgling bond he had shared with his master ripped open and bleeding grief. The Force was cold and dark, the flashes of dead and dying Jedi all pounding one point home: he was alone._

“You’re not alone,” Kanan assured, holding Ezra tightly and knowing that in this moment, that was all Ezra really needed.

* * *

**Twilight of the Apprentice**

The Sith Lord was walking almost leisurely toward him, unconcerned that Ezra had a lightsaber pointed at him. “You have unlocked the secret of the Temple. How did you accomplish this?”

Ezra grit his teeth in anger. “You’re smart! Figure it out!” He swung at him once… twice… but Vader easily blocked them both.

“No matter,” Vader said calmly. “The knowledge inside the Temple will soon serve the Emperor.”

“I don’t fear you,” Ezra snarled, tightening his grip on his lightsaber. He knew he couldn’t win, but he could hold this guy off until the others got here.

“Then you will die braver than most.” Vader brought his lightsaber down, and Ezra just barely managed to block before the Sith brought down another blow. The dark side of the Force screamed around them, making Vader’s blows faster and heavier. Ezra tried to strike back, but his blade was easily pushed to the side each time.

Ezra began to panic as he realized he wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t fast enough. He wasn’t _strong_ enough. Vader was so much more powerful than any Inquisitor he had ever faced. Refusing to give up, he tried to raise his blade only for the Sith to slice down through the hilt of his saber. A sharp pain shot up his arm, and Ezra cried out as he fell backward onto the ground. He cradled his arm to his chest, his forearm throbbing. Terror bubbled up his chest at the sight of his shattered lightsaber. Vader was towering over him, and he was completely defenseless.

“It seems I was wrong,” Vader stated, raising his lightsaber.

Useless as it was, Ezra closed his eyes with a cringe and instinctively raised an arm over his head. Regret and guilt swirled around his stomach. He didn’t want to die. Not now, not like this…

“It wouldn’t be the first time.”

Ezra’s panic and terror calmed slightly as he opened his eyes and saw Ahsoka standing at the entrance of the tunnel. He wasn’t alone.

Vader retracted his lightsaber, turning toward her. “It was foretold that you would be here. Our long-awaited meeting has come at last...”

“I’m glad I gave you something to look forward to,” she replied flatly.

Ezra tried to keep his breathing even as he slowly crawled backward. He had to get away, but his arm was making it difficult. Sharp spikes of white hot pain danced through his forearm any time he tried to move it. There was no burn or laceration, but he recognized the sensation: The bone was broken.

“We need not be adversaries,” Vader droned. “The Emperor will show you mercy if tell me where the remaining Jedi can be found.”

“There are no Jedi!” Ahsoka snapped. “You and your Inquisitors have seen to that!”

Vader turned his head back to Ezra, and Ezra felt his heart stutter.

“Then perhaps this _child_ will confess what you will not.”

Ezra’s breathing quickened, his body trembling. This was wrong. Everything had gone so wrong…

“I was beginning to believe I knew who you were beneath that mask!” Ahsoka said. “But it’s impossible. My master would _never_ be as vile as you!”

“Anakin Skywalker was _weak_ ,” Vader practically growled, turning back to her. “I destroyed him.”

Her face twisted in grief, her eyes narrowing as she glared at the Sith. When she next spoke, her voice was unnervingly calm. “Then I will avenge his death.”

“Revenge is not the Jedi way.”

Ahsoka gave a pained smirk. “I am no Jedi.”

She pulled out her sabers, igniting the twin white blades and pointing them at Vader. He ignited his own blade just before she dashed at him. Vader blocked her first strike, but she quickly slide to the side, trusting her arm towards him and pushing him back with the Force. Leaping into the air, she brought her sabers down at him only for Vader to just barely block them. Ahsoka used it as leverage to flip over his head and land behind him.

They continued to exchange blows, faster than Ezra could track them. Their fight led them outside the Temple, leaving Ezra sitting dumbfounded. “I need a lot more training...”

A crackle of energy had Ezra turning back to the center spire. White lightning was shooting in all directions, emanating from the pyramid floating inside of it.

“The holocron…” He couldn’t let Vader get it. Cradling his arm to his chest, he got up with a small moan. When he got to the spire, he reached up with his good hand to try and grab it. The holocron was actively pushing his hand back like a magnet. When he finally managed to touch it, a wave of energy shot out from it, sending him flying backward and hitting the ground with a grunt.

“It takes a master _and_ an apprentice!"

Ezra looked around to see Kanan and Chopper. “Kanan!” He got up and ran towards him, frowning as he realized that Kanan was wearing a mask and holding onto Chopper’s manipulator. “Wait, what happened? Why are you wearing that?”

“I’ll explain later.” His voice was distorted, almost mechanical sounding. “Chopper, get back to the Phantom and ready for take off! Ezra…” He held his hand out to him. “Help me to the holocron.”

A feeling of numbness washed over Ezra as he stared at Kanan’s hand. He looked up at Kanan’s mask and sickening realization flooded him. “Kanan… your eyes…”

Kanan’s voice softened. “Let’s worry about that later.”

Ezra took Kanan’s arm and put it over his shoulder, wincing slightly as he used the hand on his bad arm to keep Kanan steady. He could do this. He had to.

“Where’s Ahoska?”

Ezra sighed. “With Vader.”

Kanan didn’t reply, and with his mask in the way, there was no way to discern his reaction. Instead, Ezra focused on leading Kanan to the spire as fast as he could. However, he was so much bigger than Ezra, and he was starting to sag against him. Ezra clenched his teeth, putting one foot in front of the other. “Just a few more steps…”

There was an almost painful pressure surrounding the spire now, but they both pushed through it. “Now reach!” Ezra said, reaching up for the holocron, grinding his teeth together as his arm protested. “Higher… We almost have it!”

They both grabbed it, and Ezra cried out as the holocron shook and shuddered, his arm screaming in pain. “Now pull!”

They yanked the holocron out, a burst of energy sending them sprawling onto the ground. Ezra breathed deeply as his arm pulsated and burned. He looked up, and his eyes widened. “The Temple’s starting to collapse!”

He could hear Kanan’s ragged breathing next to him. “Alright… let’s get moving.”

Ezra bit his lip as he held the holocron with his bad hand, cradling his arm to his chest as he used his good arm to help Kanan up. The Phantom landed on one edge of the Temple, and Ezra started to lead Kanan toward it. Chopper was whomping urgently at them. ‘ _Come on come on come on!’_

“We’re moving as fast as we can, Chopper! Just make sure we’re ready to - ” Ezra cried out as his arm was suddenly yanked backward. He grabbed the holocron with both hands as it was being pulled away from him…. by Vader.

“Nonononono!” When Ezra realized he was being easily pulled away from Kanan, he instinctively reached back for him, holding on to the holocron with his good hand. The pain from Kanan grabbing on to his arm was pale in comparison to the cold terror of seeing the Sith Lord walking closer to them, his hand outstretched for the holocron. “Kanan! It’s him!”

“I know!” Kanan’s grip on his arm tightened. “I’ve got you!”

Tears of pain blurred his vision as he tried to keep his fingers curled around the holocron. Slowly but surely, it was slipping from his grip...

Then they were suddenly free, falling back in a heap. A fraction of a second later, Ezra saw Ahsoka jump and swing at Vader, the Sith letting out a mechanical cry of pain before they too fell to the ground. Consumed with only the need to escape, Ezra flung Kanan’s arm over his shoulders, helping him stand. “Ahsoka! Come on, hurry!” Ezra yelled as he helped Kanan to the Phantom.

Ezra helped Kanan step inside - making sure he wouldn’t trip - before turning back to find Ahsoka. The blood drained from his face as he saw her and Vader facing each other. What was she doing? Why wasn’t she running?

“I won’t leave you!” Ahsoka cried to Vader, the rest of her words swallowed by the loud grinding and cracking of the collapsing temple.

Then, Vader ignited his lightsaber and stepped toward her.

“Ahsoka!” Ezra ran to her. He had to help her. He couldn’t let her --

Ahsoka thrust an arm at Ezra, pushing him back. Vader swung down at her, and she lifted her own blades behind her to block it.

“No! NO!” Ezra reached futilely for her as the Temple slammed shut, sealing Ahsoka and Vader inside.

“Ezra! Ezra, let’s GO!” Kanan yelled.

He had no other choice. With the loud hum of energy building up, it was obvious the Temple was going to blow. Ezra scrambled to his feet and stumbled into the Phantom. Chopper immediately closed the door and flew off. Kanan wrapped his arms around Ezra, pulling him close as they made their escape. A thunderous boom echoed outside the shuttle, making it shake violently as they escaped.

And then it was quiet.

The numbness that had come with the need to survive - to keep the holocron safe - came crashing down. The pain in his arm suddenly increased hundredfold, throbbing with every heartbeat. A slow creep of a shadow rose up around him like a cloak as everything that had just happened finally sank in.

Kanan had been blinded. Probably by Maul’s hand. Ahsoka was dead in the smoking rubble of the Temple.

And it was all his fault.

“There’s nothing we can do now…” Kanan said softly, holding Ezra tightly. “It’s over now… it’s over.”

Ezra was trembling, crying softly. He was hit with how wrong this was. Kanan was _blinded_ by a _lightsaber_. He wasn’t just holding Ezra, he was sagging against him, his injury taking its toll. Ezra could smell the burning flesh, and it made his stomach roll. _He_ should be taking care of _Kanan_ , not the other way around!

With a deep shuddered breath, he pulled away from Kanan. “Y… Y-Your eyes…” he said, his voice strained.

Kanan leaned against the wall, giving just the barest of nods. “Yeah,” he breathed.

Shoving the holocron in his belt pouch, Ezra stood and practically launched himself at the compartment that held their medkit. Setting it on the floor, he pulled its contents out, trying to figure out what to do. His arm was cradled to his chest, but he shoved the pain to the side as he focused on Kanan. What did _Kanan_ need?

“Just get some bacta and a wrap…” Kanan said, his tired voice breaking through the cacophony of Ezra’s rummaging.

Ezra froze. Then nodded. “Okay. Okay…” He grabbed the bacta packs and a pressure bandage, bringing them over. His hands were trembling. Badly. He swallowed the lump in his throat before forcing himself to look up at the expressionless mask. “I-I’m gonna take your mask off now.”

Kanan didn’t respond, making Ezra’s heart rate soar. He dropped the supplies and grabbed his shoulder. “K-Kanan!?”

“Ezra?!” Kanan grabbed onto Eza’s arm tightly. “What’s wrong?”

Ezra deflated in relief. He was still conscious. That had to be a good sign. “I-I’m okay. Can… Can I take your mask off?”

This time, Kanan reached up on his own, gingerly pulling it off.

It was worse than Ezra had imagined. Black and red flesh was scorched and peeling across his face. As far as his actual eyes went… Ezra honestly couldn’t tell if Kanan’s eyelids were closed or if they had been so horribly burned that they had fused in with his skin.

Ezra almost threw up. He did this. _He_ did this to Kanan. A horrible pain had set his arm on fire, but Ezra welcomed it. It burned away the terrible sickly, slimy, stomach-wrenching guilt that had settled deep in his mind.

Kanan gave a breathy chuckle. “That bad, huh?”

He almost screamed at his master. What was wrong with him? How could he be taking this so kriffing _lightly_?! Instead, he bit his lip and looked down at the supplies.

Oh. That was why his arm hurt so much. Because he was deliberately pressing down on the broken bone with his good hand. Ezra let up, and the fire in his arm dulled back down to an ache. He shook his head and focused on what needed to be done.

It was unpleasant. To say the least. Ezra didn’t think about it. The feeling under his fingers, the small awful noises Kanan was making… He was just relieved when he secured the pressure bandage on to his head and the task was completed.

“Thanks,” Kanan murmured, leaning heavily against the wall. “What about you?”

Ezra stiffened. “What about me…?”

Kanan’s hand blindly groped forward, clumsily making contact with Ezra’s chest. “Are you injured?”

“No,” Ezra replied instantly. The broken bone was inconsequential. It was just the most recent in a long line of broken bones he’d had over the years. He would heal. And then he would be fine.

Unlike Kanan and Ahsoka.

He half expected Kanan to keep pushing. Kanan wasn’t generally one to let Ezra wallow in his own pain. However, his master just nodded again, not moving or saying anything, seemingly unaware of the turmoil laying waste to Ezra’s mind.

It was only then that Ezra realized that he couldn’t really sense Kanan. His signature - usually a warm consistent presence - seemed almost muffled in the Force. And he couldn’t feel a single inkling of the agony Kanan _must_ be feeling. With a small frown, Ezra reached over to Kanan…

To find a wall.

Ezra’s insides constricted into a painful knot. Kanan was blocking him out. And why shouldn’t he? Ezra betrayed him. If he had just listened to Kanan, they won’t be in this mess. Ahsoka would be alive, and Kanan wouldn’t have had his kriffing eyes burned out. By a complete stranger _he_ blindly trusted.

_Kanan chuckled. “With all the strangers you’ve befriended… you realize that’s not normal, right?”_

Ezra choked down a sob at the painful echo from just a few months ago. What was _wrong_ with him? His mind raced to find some semblance of an explanation. Why did he trust Maul over his own master?

The Temple. He wanted the secrets inside. He wanted to know the Sith so he could finally find a way to defeat them. Maul promised those secrets and was clearly intimate with the knowledge and powers they possess. Ezra had latched on to that, hoping that Maul would be able to give him the power he needed.

None of this would have happened if he had been stronger. He would have seen through Maul’s lies. He would have been able to get into Sith Temple himself. He would gotten the holocron and just taken it away without anyone else getting involved.

Ezra squeezed his fists tightly, revelling in the pain that blossomed again. It kept him focused as his resolve strengthened. He would never let himself make this kind of mistake again. With the holocron, he was going to become so powerful, none of his friends would ever get hurt ever again.


End file.
